Thought for the day

If man follows his conscience, the five elements will be in harmony.

From the book Principle of Becoming God

Vasantha    :   Swami, please open the doors of 

                        wisdom.

Swami         :   Write about Feelings wisdom.

Vasantha    :   What do I know? Swami You tell!

Swami         :   You start writing, while writing    

                        you will know.

Vasantha    :   Swami is it Feelings wisdom or 

                       Thoughts wisdom?

Swami         :   Feelings arise first, then thought.

Contemplating over this, I remembered some incidents from my early life. I was very timid in my childhood. I was brought up with a lot of pampering and was unaware of an outside world. I was afraid of everything. If anyone died in our small village the funeral drums would play and I would feel very scared. I was so terrified that I would lock myself in a room. Feelings then arose in me and I began to wonder, why do people die? Is it possible to escape from death? My maternal grandmother had a stroke and lay bedridden for several years. At that time she would read to me from the devotional magazine, ‘Bhaktha Vijayam’ and tell the stories of Andal and Meera. Her suffering in old age made a deep impression in my tender mind and I used to wonder, “Do all people suffer like this when they get old?” As I grew, my fear of death and growing old only increased.

In my young age, I would often go to the local town, Kalligudi, and see films in a thatch cinema. At that time, a thought came to me that the only way to escape old age and remain young was to become a cinema star! When I realized that even cinema stars die, I began to think of new ways to overcome death and old age. I remembered the story of the eternally young Markendeya and felt that if I too could get a boon from God, I would remain forever young like him. I discovered the only way to escape death was through the path of devotion to God.

How can we overcome death? Due to my fear of death, the thought that I should not die became very strong. I was afraid to see people dying. I used to think why do people have to die? Will my body also die one day? Then the thought arose that I should escape death.

First arose the feeling of fear, from this feeling a thought was born. With the strengthening of these thoughts, many ideas formed in my mind. ‘Should I become a movie star? They always look young and beautiful. But alas! They also become old and die!’

I began to contemplate, ‘What is the solution?’ Of all the stories that my grandmother read to me, the life of Andal and Meera fascinated me the most. Hearing these stories the wisdom came to me that I should attain Krishna like them. Like Andal I wanted to attain the Lord along with the body; the wisdom arose that this alone is the right path. All other paths gave only temporary solutions. The wisdom dawned that if I do not want this body to perish, then attaining God with the physical body is the only way. Thus my prayers were set on this path.

First to arise are feelings, then thoughts, and finally through discrimination wisdom dawns. This wisdom must be put into action. I put the wisdom I gained into practice. All are afraid of death; it is a common feeling. This fear is present from a worm to every living form in creation. Why does this fear arise? Body attachment alone is the cause. If we remove this attachment, we become free from fear. Attachment to the body is the cause for birth and it also gives the desire for worldly relationships.

Attachment to the body changes into attachment to relatives. How many attachments are there: my wife, my husband, my children, my money, my job, etc. Caught in these attachments, we get trapped in the cycle of birth and death.

Who is related to whom? Where were these relatives before our birth and where are they after death? We must contemplate on this and understand fully what is true and permanent. God alone is permanent and true; all else is perishable. The wisdom that God alone is eternal must arise in us.

When I was young I had a very stubborn nature; once I decided I wanted something I would not rest until I got it. I was the only child born into a very wealthy family, where we had many servants. I lost my mother at a very young age and was brought up completely shielded from the outside world. At that time I was very fond of dolls and if I had my heart set on a particular doll, my father and grandmother would immediately have to send Uncle ‘Agent Thatha’ to Madurai to purchase it. As we lived in a remote village everything had to be brought from Madurai. The train was the only transport as there were no buses. First though, we had to get from our remote village to Kalligudi and then from there take the train to Madurai. Up until the time the doll arrived, I would neither eat nor speak and cried continuously. My nature was such that I would not sit quietly until I got what I wanted.

I turned this stubborn nature towards God; I felt I must see God here itself right now. I felt I must talk with Him, live with Him, marry Him. Due to my persistant nature, I did continous sadhana and had many experiences. Like Andal, I wanted the body to become an offering to the Lord. I prayed that my body should not fall on the ground. I performed intense penance, purified the physical body and offered this to Sri Sathya Sai Baba, who accepted my offering.