After the vision in meditation, I began to cry, ‘Why did I take a destructive form like this? Why did I tell like this? Nothing should happen to anyone. None should suffer for the wrong done to me’.

This incident upset me so much that I never included the chapter in the Prema Sai book. I have not used it in any book. This is my nature. This is how I was brought up. When I told Swami, “Giving and forgiving are divine qualities,” He gave the example of Sishupala, who insulted Lord Krishna one hundred times, before being destroyed. Krishna killed him only after bearing a hundred of his insults. In the same way, Swami told me that I have forgiven many times those who have done harm to me, yet their mistakes continue. How many times has it happened? If not directly, they are causing me trouble indirectly. 

I was told by some, “Do not write any more books.” After they told me not to write, I have written six more books. Swami told me to publish ‘Shiva Sutra’, on 1 January 2009. Shortly thereafter, He took the book in darshan. What should I do? Who should I listen to? Do I follow what Swami has told me or follow what others say? All this has filled my life with fear. This is why Swami has said, “How many times should you forgive them? Enough!”

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