Awake! Lend your ears to the divine call of the Lord. Make a determined effort right now to seek salvation.
3 June 2009 Morning meditation
Vasantha : Swami, what is this Prema? What is its
origin? Where is its end? How does it emerge? For whom is this Prema? How much
Prema? Why this Prema? I cannot bear it… I cannot.
Swami : None can know this Prema. Prema originates in
Me, it ends in Me. It will only end, when you unite with Me. I do not know how
much Prema you have for Me. I do not know… I do not know.
End of meditation
WHY IS THIS PREMA SHAKING ME? When I asked Swami, He
said, “None can know... Vishwamitra saw a dot in the distance.” It originates
from Swami. It will end in Him. When I merge in Him, the name and form of
Vasantha will become a jyothi and merge into the physical form of Swami. Only
then will this yearning reach fulfillment. Yet, how am I to bear it until that
time; can I bear it? This is my question. Every moment Prema arises in me. It emerges
piercing holes through each atom of my being. So, I am crying, unable to bear
its force.
Evening meditation
(I could not meditate properly and was coughing
continuously.)
Vasantha : Swami, why can I not meditate? The same
happened at noon as well…the same cough.
Swami : Are we only speaking in meditation? We are
always talking. Why do you separate it as meditation?
Vasantha : It is only in meditation that we can speak
properly.
Swami : Who is it who speaks within you? Who is the
one who writes? You said, ‘One life force in two bodies’. The Avatar does not
have a body or life force like that of man. They are not born and they do not
die. They descend to earth and leave earth at will. This state of consciousness
is called Chaitanya. You merged with Me in Vashista Cave. You as Pure Consciousness merged in Me, Pure Consciousness.
Vasantha : How then Swami?
Swami : All is only Chaitanya, consciousness. There is
no body or life force.
End of meditation
EARLIER I WROTE ‘one life force functions in two
bodies’. A body with life force indicates man. The body, life
force and feelings function separately in man. For God it is only Chaitanya,
consciousness. When this Chaitanya wills, body, form and name come for His
descent as Avatar. As in an ordinary man there is a name and form, but Chaitanya
functions within; there is no separate life force.
Only now do I understand. How much I have suffered.
How many tears I have cried thinking of Swami. Why has the life force not
left me? It is because there is no life force. This body
functions through Chaitanya, there is no life force. Chaitanya has willed this
body.
A person has cancer; it eventually spreads throughout
the body. The life force then leaves the body and he dies. In the same way,
Prema pervades every atom in my body. How much it is shaking me. How much I am
suffering. Unable to bear this, my body undergoes agonizing suffering. Only
those close to me know the extent of this. Daily I suffer from continuous
sneezing, coughing and itching. I am bearing a great amount of suffering.
Normally the life force would leave the body if one
underwent this degree of suffering. Why has it not left? Only if there is life
force there, can it go. There is no life force, so there is nothing to go.